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Google’s self-driving car — what a mess

If Google’s plan for its self-driving cars is what I think, prepare to get dirty.

This post was originally published more than 5 years ago. Some of the information may be outdated.

Google's self driving car

Google is moving forward with its push for world dominance.

This week, they released a prototype of a self-driving car. That’s right, a car that drives itself. Think of the possibilities: get a jump-start on emails, sneak in a nap on the commute to work, dig into that novel you’ve been trying to find time for. The list goes on. Admittedly, the technology in this car is pretty sweet. But what’s interesting is that they removed some of the most fundamental components of a car – some that might make you think about your safety.

Here’s what Google removed from the car

  • Steering wheel
  • Brake pedal
  • Gas pedal
  • Mirrors
  • Backseat
  • Glovie
  • Stereo

Check out this video to see the car in action

Kind of makes you feel like you’re sitting in a Flintstones car, but without that added safety of digging your feet into the ground when things go south. There’s no human interference with this thing – it drives entirely via computer. I’m not going to go deeper into the mechanics of the technology in this car, but for further reading, I suggest checking out this exclusive look by Recode’s Liz Gannes.

So what’s Google planning to do with these self-driving cars?

My prediction: If Google does plan to use this as some sort of transportation system, it’s going be an utter shit show.

Let’s say Google intends to use this car as an Uber-type taxi service: a car shows up, door opens, and then there’s some bro assed-out from drinking too much with the boys. I can imagine this sort of thing happening on a consistent basis. Just think of all the awkward situations you might find yourself stepping into.

I rustled up a list of things that you might find in a Google Self-Driving Car one day:

  • Puke – Think of all the late nights after the bar or the club. You yourself may have done it, or at the very least, you know someone’s who’s had a little too much to drink and let it flow in the backseat of cab. Well, with no one around, somebody won’t think twice about spewing.
  • Food and food wrappers – What’s a night without murdering a drive-through? You’ll have fresh golden arches french fries for days in those cars. Also: different people, different tastes.
  • The Occasional Over Sleeper – This is the guy who passes out after two beers, misses his stop, and finds himself in Kansas.
  • The Funk – Cabs for me have always smelled weird. I don’t know if it’s from all the different people or the cab drivers themselves, this one is still up in the air.
  • Landfill – Think of all the junk that gets left in a cab. Without someone always looking out for the back seat, I can only imagine what sort of stuff will be left behind.

Who knows what Google has planned for these self-driving cars. I’m interested to see how this plays out. I’ll keep you updated on any further developments to this story.

What do you think Google has planned for these cars? Do you think you’ll find anything interesting? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Kevin is KnowTechie's founder and executive editor. With over 15 years of blogging experience in the tech industry, Kevin has transformed what was once a passion project into a full-blown tech news publication. Shoot him an email at or find him on Mastodon or Post.



  1. Avatar for nanoo


    June 10, 2014 at 10:37 am

    Please let me know if you’re looking for a article
    writer for your site. You have some really good posts and
    I feel I would be a good asset. If you ever want
    to take some of the load off, I’d love to write some articles for
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    • Avatar for Kevin Raposo

      Kevin Raposo

      June 10, 2014 at 2:01 pm

      Feel free to shoot me over an email on my contact page here

  2. Avatar for Mr. E

    Mr. E

    July 9, 2014 at 1:01 pm

    Why the bloody hell? You made it all up you silly twat, Yet you dare to title the article ‘What a mess’ – based on the assumption someone will leave some rubbish in a Taxi?

    Don’t you think CCTV would be the next logical step? Problem solved….. Dumbass.

    Repeat after me: “I know nothing about this car and have bullshitted an article”

    • Avatar for Kevin Raposo

      Kevin Raposo

      July 9, 2014 at 1:05 pm

      It’s nice to be noticed.

  3. Avatar for Andrew


    July 10, 2014 at 9:00 am

    You have stuffed your blog with a meaningful information and hope you will carry on doing so.

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