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Google’s self-driving car — what a mess

If Google’s plan for its self-driving cars is what I think, prepare to get dirty.

Google Driverless Cars A Mess

Google's Self Driving Car
Google is moving forward with their push for world dominance.

This week, they released a prototype of a self-driving car. That’s right, a car that drives itself. Think of the possibilities: get a jump-start on emails, sneak in a nap on the commute to work, dig into that novel you’ve been trying to find time for. The list goes on. Admittedly, the technology in this car is pretty sweet. But what’s interesting is that they removed some of the most fundamental components of a car – some that might make you think about your safety.

Here’s what Google removed from the car

  • Steering wheel
  • Brake pedal
  • Gas pedal
  • Mirrors
  • Backseat
  • Glovie
  • Stereo

Check out this video to see the car in action

Kind of makes you feel like you’re sitting in a Flintstones car, but without that added safety of digging your feet into the ground when things go south. There’s no human interference with this thing – it drives entirely via computer. I’m not going to go deeper into the mechanics of the technology in this car, but for further reading, I suggest checking out this exclusive look by Recode’s Liz Gannes.

So what’s Google planning to do with these self-driving cars?

My prediction: If Google does plan to use this as some sort of transportation system, it’s going be an utter shit show.

Let’s say Google intends to use this car as an Uber-type taxi service: a car shows up, door opens, and then there’s some bro assed-out from drinking too much with the boys. I can imagine this sort of thing happening on a consistent basis. Just think of all the awkward situations you might find yourself stepping into.

I rustled up a list of things that you might find in a Google Self-Driving Car one day:

  • Puke – Think of all the late nights after the bar or the club. You yourself may have done it, or at the very least, you know someone’s who’s had a little too much to drink and let it flow in the backseat of cab. Well, with no one around, somebody won’t think twice about spewing.
  • Food and food wrappers – What’s a night without murdering a drive-through? You’ll have fresh golden arches french fries for days in those cars. Also: different people, different tastes.
  • The Occasional Over Sleeper – This is the guy who passes out after two beers, misses his stop, and finds himself in Kansas.
  • The Funk – Cabs for me have always smelled weird. I don’t know if it’s from all the different people or the cab drivers themselves, this one is still up in the air.
  • Landfill – Think of all the junk that gets left in a cab. Without someone always looking out for the back seat, I can only imagine what sort of stuff will be left behind.

Who knows what Google has planned for these self-driving cars. I’m interested to see how this plays out. I’ll keep you updated on any further developments to this story.

What do you think Google has planned for these cars? Do you think you’ll find anything interesting? Share your thoughts in the comments. 


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