KnowTechie Roundtable: What piece of tech from TV/Film would you like to see in real life?
In this week’s KnowTechie roundtable, we answer this question: What piece of tech from TV/Film would you like to see in real life? Buckle up, Buster.
We’re an opinionated bunch here at KnowTechie. In fact, the only thing we enjoy more than expressing our own opinions is shooting each others’ down with vociferous, unrestrained vitriol. As such, we’ve decided to launch a new weekly series, the KnowTechie Roundtable, to do just that.
Join us every Friday to hear us dish dish, bish on our favorite topics in tech while hurling insults at one another but mostly Kevin. Which brings us to our next topic….
What piece of tech from TV/Film would you like to see in real life?
Oh, am I first? Good. This is a fun topic and the person that came up with it is a very creative individual.
It’s me, I’m individual. This one is easy, replicators from Star Trek. This isn’t the most fun answer and I’m sure Kevin, Jared, and Curtis are going to say some dumb shit, but c’mon, this is obviously the answer.
Want a cheesesteak? It’s yours. Want a new TV? Bippity-boppity-give-me-my-property. Want some gold-pressed latinum? You can’t replicate that, you fool.
Jared: Oh wow, Star Trek. Realllll original, Josiah. Maybe you’ll get lucky and one of your Frodo lookin’ replicas won’t die a virgin. Anyways, my answer is the universal remote from Click.
Curtis: Josiah just wants a replicator so he never has to use Tinder again. News flash Josiah, you can’t replicate that.
In the interest of complete transparency, I should mention that I’ve never actually seen Click, because anyone who willfully watches a post-1999 Adam Sandler movie should have to be chemically castrated by their government. But I have seen the trailer, and from what I gathered, the remote grants whoever wields it the power to do things like stop time, go back in time and adjust color contrast (?) for really lame Hulk jokes.
As someone who lives in almost constant regret of the things I’ve done, I’ve always been fascinated by the concept of freezing/rewinding time. I was one of the only people who saw Clockstoppers in theaters for that very reason, and I fully plan to have my remains cryogenically frozen in the hopes of achieving a Philip J. Fry-style life reset in the year 3000.
The Click remote would not only give me the chance to right all my wrongs – to not make a joke about tryptophan being the new rohypnol at the Thanksgiving dinner table, to successfully undo Stacey Mnunchin’s bra in the 8th grade, and so on – but to relive the highlights of my life thus far. Of which there are many. I swear.
Joe, you seem to be all over my nuts in these posts, so what are your thoughts? (Keep in mind that if I ever *do* get my hands on this technology, I’ll use it to permute you, put your life on hold while I travel to whatever sullen dunshire you currently live in, and unpause you just in time to slap the Earl Grey out your mouth.)
Kevin: Damn, shots fired, Jared, huh? Joe, I have a number you can call.
Curtis: Jared, consider the Butterfly Effect. No one wants you having a remote that could potentially alter time and space.
Kevin: I mean, I wouldn’t mind him having one. Who knows, it could probably help me and Jared find a singer for our metal band.
This one is less specific tech, but is it too much to ask for the UI from Minority Report? I just want that for….I dunno, anything?
Kevin: Oh hell yea, that would be dope, Jake.
Josh:Minority Report is what I think of when I imagine future tech. Crime prediction, automated cars, simplifying life to monotony. Future movie tech is scary.
Jake: Aside from that, I’m a Marvel slut, so EDITH would also be great. Far From Home spoilers, though. Infinite information is horrifying, generally speaking, but if I could just have infinite information for myself, I’d be all over that. Plus those glasses would look great on me.
Wow, Jared, why don’t you tell us how you really feel? I think all the growth hormone in the turkey has finally gotten to you.
Anyway, I’d like to see one of the instant travel-type techs actually be real. Maybe not the transporters in Star Trek, ‘cause the thought of being broken down to my constituent parts then reassembled is kinda janky.
The watches that the Time Bureau in Legends of Tomorrow sound pretty cool though, being able to open a door in space to just step to wherever is fine by me. I hate traffic so anything that skips the line is great. Not all Brits love to queue…
Kevin: Again, Joe, here’s that number again.
The only practical answer here is some sort of functional tech. All of you are too focused on your romantic failures and using space and time to correct them (Jared, her bra was never going to come off for you and Josiah, your desire to replicate the furry bits of Hobbits is disturbing).
Translation technology is the answer. Pick one. Either the Babel Fish from Hitchhiker’s Guide or that pendant thing from Snowpiercer or any automatic translation or universal translator from a multitude of science fiction.
You know how hard it is as an adult to learn a new language? Imagine having an affordable, available device for translation without speaking into Google Translate or whatever. Something implanted maybe. I think the world would be a better place if we could all understand each other. And yes Josiah, you could probably speak Elvish and finally pick up cosplayers at comic conventions.
Damn, I have to say. A lot of everyone’s picks here are hella lame. I mean, out of all the technology that’s been in movies over the years, Jared picks a remote, Josiah picks a thing from Star Trek (he’s such a basic bitch), and Joe picked a comic book thing. I have to say, Jake and Curtis are pretty spot on with their picks. But I dunno guys, I think I have the best one.
Here’s what I’m going with – Johnny 5 from Short Circuit. I mean, look at him. He’s totes adorbes. I don’t know about you guys, but I’d rather have a personal robot who can break into cars, kick the shit out of someone, read a book in less than two seconds, and you know, someone who can listen to my bullshit all day. Not to mention, Johny 5 is a proud member of the Los Locos gang, so there’s always that. At the end of the day, sometimes, we all need a hero.
Josh: Johnny 5 is cool and all but what about Chappie? He’s way cooler and can shoot stuff and people.
Kevin: Johnny 5 shot frickin laser beams! Cmon, Johnny 5 was the OG. Short Circuit came out in the 80s.
Josh: Chappie hung out with South American rappers. He also shot missile launchers. Chappie is the man, or uh robot.
Kevin: Johnny 5 is a KNOWN GANG MEMBER! It doesn’t get any more gangsta than that. Who knows, maybe they’re related or something?
Josh: Probably are. In all seriousness, you can’t tell me you haven’t thought about the remote from Click? Yeah, it’s one of Sandler’s last good movies, but the ability to stop, rewind or just screw with reality would be sweet. Minus the whole monkey paw consequences thing. Who hasn’t wished they had more time to do stuff or just stop time for, uh, reasons?
Kevin: Yeah, I mean obviously, but there are a thousand movies in some form or another had tech that did this too. But yea, I guess Click is the most relatable movie out there that did this. Meh.
Alright, that about wraps things up for this week’s KnowTechie Roundtable. What do you think? Did we miss anything? If that’s the case, Let us know down in the comments or feel free to reach out to us personally. Seriously, whether it’s Curtis, Jake, Jared, Josiah, Josh, Joe, or myself – we want to hear from you.
Have any takes on which piece of tech you would like to see from your favorite TV show or movie? If you have any thoughts, this is where you come in. If there’s anything missing here, let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.
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