Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wpcode-premium domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /www/knowtechie_840/public/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the the-league domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /www/knowtechie_840/public/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121
Pornhub traffic spikes during Zoom outage
Connect with us

Facebook

Pornhub traffic spikes during Zoom outage

Can’t Zoom? Crank it.

porn hub
Image: Angus Mordant/New York Daily News

Deprecated: mb_convert_encoding(): Handling HTML entities via mbstring is deprecated; use htmlspecialchars, htmlentities, or mb_encode_numericentity/mb_decode_numericentity instead in /www/knowtechie_840/public/wp-content/plugins/wpcode-premium/includes/class-wpcode-snippet-execute.php(419) : eval()'d code on line 13

Just a heads up, if you buy something through our links, we may get a small share of the sale. It’s one of the ways we keep the lights on here. Click here for more.

On Monday, the primary app holding society together — Zoom — experienced widespread outages across mostly the eastern United States and Europe. So what are work-at-home drones and already-exhausted students to do when Zoom goes down? Head over to Pornhub of course. Per usual as a society, when we can’t get work done, we masturbate furiously.

Around 7:30 am EST on Monday, reports of Zoom issues began to rise. About that same time, visits to Pornhub, as reported by its analytics team, also began to see off-cycle increases. By 11 am EST, the east coast of the U.S. was up by 6.2% when compared to the same day of the previous three weeks. Traffic in the United Kingdom peaked at 5.6%. That’s a major change in mid-day porn site traffic, as these geographical areas make up half of Pornhub’s daily traffic.

This isn’t really news. When we can’t be productive, we generally end up on a porn site. Last year when Facebook and Instagram were down, users collectively sighed, whipped out their genitals, and starting surfing for tentacle porn. Earlier this year as we eased into a quarantine that would last longer than it rightfully should thank an incompetent government focused on building some half-brained authoritarian regime, we started searching for coronavirus porn. When shit ain’t working, we can always slap our gear around.

Zoom going down isn’t the end of the world, but like any app we use to pretend to be productive during the day when it does go down we feel an immediate disconnect with whatever we’re working on and it takes us out of the groove. So we have to find a new groove. For some people, that’s reading a book or going for a walk. For other people, that’s clicking over to a porn site during working hours and slathering our brains with erotic fiction.

This doesn’t mean that porn is bad or anything like that, or some sort of internet temptress. It just means that it’s a viable distraction in a world full of distraction. We’re already separated from our colleagues and friends, finding solace in a world that focuses on human sexual connection makes perfect sense. Of course, all of us heading there at the same time while Zoom is down is a bit cliche, but such is life.

So, for now, we’ll get back on Zoom, do our work and float through the days, hoping for a sense of normalcy in the next few years, knowing that regardless of the status of our productivity apps — porn will always be there, waiting for us to be properly distracted. Pornhub, for all its issues, never seems to be the downed app we’re running away from but running towards.

Did you stop by PornHub when Zoom went down? Have any thoughts on this? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

Editors’ Recommendations:

Follow us on Flipboard, Google News, or Apple News

A tech writer on the internet for over 15 years for outlets such as Forbes, Wired, TNW, and others, Curtis is exhausted, burnt out and happy to just write buying guides and the occasional review for KnowTechie, the best tech blog your mom never told you about. Ephemeral existence for ephemeral times. Please send pitches and grainy pictures of the inside of your elbow to kevin@knowtechie.com

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More in Facebook