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It’s Cyber Monday, which means all the tech you thought you got on sale for Black Friday is on sale again, just with different marketing, which makes Cyber Monday the perfect day to get ahead of holiday gift shopping. You took care of yourself on Black Friday, now it’s time to bust a load of cash for others on Cyber Monday.
Today, we’re shopping for that one friend who has always been curious about technology, but chooses to remain a Luddite for reasons related to science fiction television and movies. Let’s call this friend Jared. Jared likes technology when he’s shown how to use it, what it’s used for, and the fun things he can do with it, but generally, he believes iPads are the devil and his Roomba will eat his face while he sleeps.
We all have a Jared in our lives. A parent perhaps, or friend who has grown up with a cardboard box over their head. Regardless, what do you buy a person like that? Do you go heavy and get them a WiFi mesh network that requires setup? Or maybe you just get them an SSD drive so they can learn how to store their photos without printing them out and sticking them in an actual, physical photo album.
You should probably start with the thing that scares them the most, a smart home device
Image: KnowTechie
Amazon Alexa devices are on sale today, with Echo Dots more than half off. If your tech curious friend can get over their irrational Skynet fears, then perhaps they can embrace Alexa.
Chances are fairly good that your tech curious friend is still using the wired over-ear headphones that came with their Sony Walkman in 1998. Good thing these Bose SoundSport wireless headphones are on sale for 30% off today. They will require a slight lifestyle shift, as they aren’t crusted with years of flop sweat, ejaculate and hair follicles, but do deliver solid sound and come in a limited edition color, like liver disease on acid.
Your tech curious friend likely has a kitchen appliance lineup that hasn’t been updated since 1985. They’ve got one of those toasters that are wrapped in aluminum foil and requires forking to loose toast. Well, Amazon has a bunch of Breville kitchen appliances on sale for Cyber Monday. That’s a great way to bring someone’s kitchen into the 21st century.
Perhaps your friend chooses to live a solitary life in the woods, with only their trusty canine companion by their side
Image: KnowTechie
Then this Furbo Dog Camera is the gift to get. It tosses treats to pets and has a 1080p HD camera and night vision. Perfect for creating Instagram accounts for pets or keeping an eye on them while your friend is out in the world, trying to find a physical payphone.
Here’s a good entry into the tech world, designed for people who are both cheap and who want to cut sugary sodas out of their diets. All SodaStream products are 33% off today. It counts as tech, but it’s happy, non-scary tech that won’t try to take over your brain and enslave your children after the robot uprising.
This one is just for Jared, even if your friend is also a cheap bastard digging holes all over the public park, looking for spare change and lost rings. Metal detectors are more than half off for Cyber Monday. Start hunting for random chunks of metal you cheap bastards.
Finally, we have a piece of technology that should entice even the most hardened tech non-enthusiast. Because it makes french fries as well as pot roast. It’s a Ninja All-in-One multi-cooker on sale for 40% off. This cooker is like the Karaoke machine of kitchen appliances. It air fries, pressure cooks, steams, dehydrates, performs oral sex, folds your laundry and gives you daily affirmations to boost your confidence.
Ok, it only does the first four things, but it’s only a matter of time before the robots use psychological programming in kitchen devices in order to pacify the populace for easy conquering. Maybe Jared was right.
What do you think? Would you get the Jared in your life any of these gifts? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.
Editors’ Recommendations:
- Snag a PlayStation 4 Pro in Glacier White and a gift card from GameStop for less than 0
- Grovemade has a bunch of Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals for its Every Day Carry items and more
- Grab one of Airfree’s awesome air purifiers for 35% off with this Cyber Week deal
- Nintendo now has an official storefront on Amazon – just in time for Black Friday
Just a heads up, if you buy something through our links, we may get a small share of the sale. Click here for more.
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