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OhmiBod Cuddle Mini and Share Vibrators are handy companions for your on-the-go sex life

Buzz one out before lunch.

ohmibod
Image: Unsplash
The Good
Very portable
Seven presets
Fun with a friend
The Bad
Battery life is half the charging time
6.9
Overall

My sex life is generally about as active as Rear Window Christopher Reeve, but thankfully I have recently gotten back on the horse (too soon?) after a short interlude in inter-human intimate relationships. So when OhmiBod offered to send me a few toys for review, I figured why the hell not? They most likely sure beat the sanded down Rubik’s cube taped to a broken, but still vibrating, pager from the 1990s.

OhmiBod sent along the Cuddle Mini and the Share, sold by Lovelife. Lovelife, your go-to website for things to put near your genitals. OhmiBod is popular for its Bluetooth-enabled vibrators, a mainstay with the cam crowd (tip some money, activate the thingy).

OhmiBod Lovelife Cuddle Mini

This is an adorable little vibrator. To me, it looks like most modern vibrators, but I’m not the intended audience. While I try to be gender inclusive and I’m sure that anyone can find some piece of skin to press this thing against, the Cuddle Mini (retail: $59.99) is purposed for use in or around a vagina.

Since I don’t have one of those (and jars of peanut butter don’t give any kind of haptic response), I handed it off my semi-frequent sexual partner, someone who puts just as much effort into her grooming as she does her quilting. This is the response I got back, written in red in a tiny notebook.

My first thoughts upon plugging it in and watching the white heart shape blink at me were something along the lines of oh it’s cute like baby’s first vibe. Not that it’s a beginner vibrator (or for actual babies), but it’s certainly compact and would make a perfectly acceptable bridal shower present. Grandma won’t get her panties in a wad — or will she? It’s approachable, handy and looks like that semi-useful thing that hangs from the lower abdomen of most males.

The Cuddle Mini is portable (though, anything is portable if you have the will and the trunk space — unless you have a Miata) and has seven presets for vibration. It advertises itself as being designed to hit that mysterious (not so mysterious) G-spot, but let’s be honest, your savage ass has a better chance of finding Atlantis.

ohmibody

Image: Ohmibod

OhmiBod Share Couples Vibrator

Sharing is caring, right? That’s your motto. You stroll through the day, sharing with everyone you encounter. You share meals, insights, bodily fluids (consensual) and random cheeses. That’s what the OhmiBod Share Couples Vibrator (retail: $79.00) is banking on. I’d actually never seen anything quite like this before. It’s like a stretchy cock ring with a vibrating battery on it. Drop the tough guy act, having a vibrator next to your squizzle sack is actually kinda nice.

The Share isn’t necessarily for the one wearing it. It’s for both of you, inserter and insertee. One thing about sex is that sometimes, it can benefit from something other than a quick pump and dump, a sigh and a sandwich. There is no gender when it comes to this, there are tons of lame sexual partners out there, just waiting to kill the mood with a quick orgasm and indifference. Sex should be exciting, it should be full of laughter and fun, maybe some orgasms, maybe a fondue cheese fountain, maybe around two hours and justifying a bowl of pasta afterward.

“A solid relationship is built on communication and sharing in new adventures,” said Suki Dunham, founder of OhMiBod. “So why hesitate in bringing those same concepts into the bedroom?”

Exactly. And what’s more adventurous than lubing up a silicone battery pack (use water-based lube and not Crisco, you animal), sliding it onto your wangdoodle and pressing up/in against your partner while trying to ignore that stinger in your back you got when you tried to hold in a sneeze. Honestly, some days I need all the help I can get.

Also, the Share can be used as like, a regular vibrator. I found that it worked best for me when wrapped around my fingers instead of my circumsquash and pressed against that perineum area during cunnilingus. I would like to point out that I spelled perineum correct on first attempt but had to spell check cunnilingus. The Share also has seven presets, but can’t remember which one you left it on when you turn it off, then on again.

Stop being so repressed when it comes to human sexuality and toys. It should be a fluid, fun experience. Toys like the Cuddle Mini and the Share only add to and enhance this experience. The Cuddle Mini is the perfect-sized travel vibrator that the TSA might not even notice. The Share is better than wrapping a slice of bacon around your flappywongle, but only slightly.

Plan on spicing up your sex life? Think these might do the trick? Let us know below.

 For tech news and reviews, make sure to check out:

The Good
Very portable
Seven presets
Fun with a friend
The Bad
Battery life is half the charging time
6.9
Overall

Writing about consumer technology, social media and the deep layers of psychological torture endured by all of it. The world is changing, but that doesn't mean we can't be cynical about it. It's not all sunshine and roses in Silicon Valley. It's self loathing, pretentiousness and machines that squeeze juice for you. Also, a strong affinity for toasters.Follow on Twitter @cebsilver for them jokes. Chaotic neutral. Pitches to cebsilver@gmail.com

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