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YouPorn launches ‘search by emoji’ feature so you can eggplant, ghost, dolphin your way to climax

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youporn emoji features
Image: YouPorn

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YouPorn, one of the many heads of the mighty Pornhub hydra, is today launching a feature no-one asked for, but we damn well deserve — search by emoji.

That’s right kids, all these years either selecting from the category list or typing in your search for tentacle porn was just a waste of energy at the cellular level. Now you can just select an emoji from this super weird and excessive SFW landing page and you are good to go. Or you can continue to search with (ugh) words. Whatever floats your onion.

YouPorn has been on a roll lately with updating its existence to, I suppose, compete with its own family of websites within the Pornhub network. The point is that YouPorn has something unique to offer besides just a bunch of re-posted Pornhub community videos.

It recently launched an algorithmic machine-learning porn suggestion AI and now it has launched a feature to kind of make it easier to search for porn on your mobile device. Because let’s be honest here, it’s not like you are rolling out the red carpet for your porn viewing these days. You are viewing porn on mobile, in a Walmart bathroom at 2am, not in the comfort of your living room with all the surround sound speakers optimized for labored, orgasmic breathing.

“With the significant increase in our user base viewing our content on mobile devices, we’re excited to offer a fun and easy way to explore new content,” said Charlie Hughes, Vice President of YouPorn in a press release. “The ability to search by emoji is our latest technological advancement and we are thrilled to bring this option to our loyal user base, offering specific content that suits what our users are looking for at the exact time they are looking for it.”

What emojis currently work with the system?

So, there are about 90 emojis on the SFW landing page, some of them didn’t find anything, some of them are obvious and some of them are just odd. It’s not known how many of the current Android or iOS emojis will yield results or will be supported in the future, but I guarantee you’ll have fun finding out.

Some working examples are: lightning bolt standing in for masturbation, sweat droplets is squirting, high-heeled shoe is (one of many, c’mon) fetish, eggplant is fucking obvious, a waving hand emoji is for a handy, star-struck face is for verified amateurs (which are the real stars of porn) and a female judge is for JOI and if you don’t know what that stands for, you might need it. Sadly the wizard emoji came up empty, while the ghost emoji wasn’t for actual ghost sex but behind the scenes. Not behind the scenes of ghost sex though.

We’ve been using emojis as accentuation for our sexting for years, so this is just a natural progression of that. Oh yeah, you nasty.

The one thing that is missing from the emoji list but hopefully can be searched for at some point is country flags. If you open up the category search on any porn site, you’ll see pretty much every country (especially South American ones) listed for search. That’s because sometimes we don’t want to see grunting white dudes with tribal tattoos over-vocalizing what is a pretty nominal hip thrust. Or we happen to prefer women with a more tropical skin tone. The point is, an international flair might be a good selling point for something as silly, but mobile accessible, as searching by emoji on a porn site.

YouPorn’s search by emoji feature, as dumb and annoying as emojis are, is actually a good idea and clearly aimed at the mobile-use crowd. There is some accessibility to it as well, for when the dyslexia kicks in and I can’t properly type webcam orgasm with dog barking in the near background and a leftover sandwich right under her fucking calf. Hopefully, there’s an emoji for that.

What will be the first emoji you search? Type it in the comments below, you filth.

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A tech writer on the internet for over 15 years for outlets such as Forbes, Wired, TNW, and others, Curtis is exhausted, burnt out and happy to just write buying guides and the occasional review for KnowTechie, the best tech blog your mom never told you about. Ephemeral existence for ephemeral times. Please send pitches and grainy pictures of the inside of your elbow to kevin@knowtechie.com

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