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YouPorn offers energy saving tips in solidarity with the Global Climate Strike

Efficient ejaculation.

youporn energy saving tips
Screenshot: KnowTechie

As it says on its landing page, the Global Climate Strike is happening now through September 27th. As it says on the YouPorn landing page, “free porn videos recommended to you”. Wait, wrong one. It says “Without the Earth, there is no porn! We stand with the Global Climate Strike”.

Young people all over the world will be marching and striking to protest the continued use of fossil fuels and the current climate crisis that threatens the near future of humanity. And if your response to that is “climate change is a hoax” then you can fuck off to the flat Earth with your un-vaccinated kids and wait for the aliens to scoop up your dumb ass, probe you and toss you out of the airlock. Seriously, fuck off.

Doing its part to at least inform the porn perusing population a little bit, when you pop over to YouPorn you’ll be met with a pop-up offering some energy saving tips whilst you pound yourself to some porn during the next week of protests and striking. If you can’t get out in the streets at least you can gather some information while you tangle with your genitals.

The tips link directly to the Global Climate Strike homepage, so you can at least do something to recognize the troubles this Earth faces, without having to put your meat back in your pants.

YouPorn is offering the following tips, in solidarity with the Global Climate Strike, to reduce energy consumption while using YouPorn.

  • Mobile phones tend to be the most energy-efficient – more so than a TV or a laptop. YouPorn’s Mobile Web App launches right from your smartphone or tablet home screen and you’ll still be able to enjoy all of YouPorn’s unique web features right from the palm of your free hand.
  • A mobile phone using WiFi consumes less energy than one that is connected to a 3G or 4G network. When streaming content from the site, ensure you are switching off your network and connecting to WiFi, and you’ll avoid buffering issues.
  • When streaming on YouPorn, cut out extra electricity usage by turning off your lights, turning down the thermostat, and getting cozy with yourself or your partner in bed.

This is all nice and good-natured, but it is overall an act of futility. There are just about 100 companies responsible for 71% of global emissions, according to most studies. While that leaves 29% for the rest of us, true change would need to come from a corporate shift in behavior and industry. Due to capitalism, that’s probably not going to happen until the Earth is on the actual brink. As if it’s not.

But, something is better than nothing. So if you can’t get out in the streets with the Global Climate Strike, at least you can stay home, masturbate furiously on WiFi with the lights out and feel somewhat better about the Earth’s sticky situation. To put it lightly.

What do you think? Plan on masturbating for the good of the Earth? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

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