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Call of Duty: Modern Warfare hasn’t even finished installing yet

Remember Pac-Man?

Call of duty modern warfare on playstation 4
Image: Activision

Last night I made an impulse gaming purchase. I bought a digital copy of the latest Call of Duty game. This Modern Warfare reboot (of sorts) has a score of 81 on Metacritic and poor user reviews that seem to be mostly bots. I don’t give a flying shit about review scores, I just ask my friends or gaming writers and then take a pull off the bong and do what the fuck I want anyway.

Perhaps it’s leftover nostalgia for the best Call of Duty game ever, Modern Warfare 2, a game that is only ten years old. Since then, there has been a constant barrage of Call of Duty games, the Black Ops series being the most absurd and unplayable IMO. Needless to say, I haven’t played a Call of Duty game in a very long time. So after reading the first couple paragraphs of a few reviews, I decided to download the latest.

This was going to be a review of the game or at least a first impressions post. I don’t review games that often, but since there was a point in time when I really enjoyed this franchise, I figured I’d give it a go. That is, until I tried to play the game before all the content installed. The standard version of the game (I never purchase the extras cause WGAF) has four separate installations. Two campaign installs, one multiplayer install and one special ops install (for co-op).

After the game downloaded (I watched the entire movie Air Force One in this time), it began the first DLC install and told me I could start the game. After setting brightness and screen margins, I pressed ‘A’ on the Xbox One controller and was met by an error message. It claimed I was either missing or did not purchase the campaign DLC pack one. So I figured I’d have to wait for that to install. So I turned on Monday Night Football.

Since I run ESPN on the Xbox, a few minutes after the Cowboys made the Giants look the fool right before the half, it notified me that the first campaign DLC was available. Fuck yeah, time to shoot some NPCs! Nope. Same error this time, except it said I was missing the campaign DLC number two. What the hell? So by then, since I’m old and it was getting close to bed, I thought fuck it, turned the Xbox off and left the room, kicked a chair, set my bed sheets on fire then did mescaline until about 2am.

I remembered playing COD: MW2 online, engaging in knife-only battles with my friends and then playing co-op with my then nine-year-old son and him whupping my ass as he grew to thirst for the taste of digital blood. He was not optimistic about my current ability to handle the pace of such a game now, in my old age. But Josiah says it’s the slowest-paced Call of Duty since MW2 and Josiah lives in the fucking Ozarks so that assessment is likely legit.

I’m determined to prove him wrong. I believe I still have moderately good hand-eye coordination and I kill it at FIFA, a game of quick button decisions. The button layout for Call of Duty hasn’t changed, it’s muscle memory at this point. I’m good to go. Plus, I can always take cover while the NPCs prepare themselves for virtual death.

So this morning I woke up and continued the install. The multiplayer installed while I ate oatmeal and tossed plastic bottles off the balcony. Then the co-op portion installed while I constructed a model of the Louvre out of toothpicks and cotton balls. Then I decided to write the above paragraphs. Now, it’s time to check the install and see if this goddamn game is ready to go.

Holy shit it installed.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare first impressions

It works. Stay tuned for a review.

What do you think? Are you playing the latest Call of Duty title? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

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Defunct writer. Exhausted. Ephemeral existence for ephemeral times. Don't email me.

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