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CamSoda launches pandemic-inspired semen zapping sex toy

Electric Jizzocide.

camsoda semen zapper
Image: CamSoda

CamSoda, an adult cam site that is always quick to hop on the latest trend with some ridiculous product or service, is today launching the CamSoda Semen Zapper which is not as devious as it sounds. When I first read that name I imagined sentient and human-sized semen playing laser tag for some reason. Now you’re imagining it too. Anyway, it’s a sex toy that uses UV light to immediately zap semen as it leaves the body.

The hook of course is the current pandemic and the promise to clean your semen of COVID-19 as it exits its hangar. The thing is a combination cock ring, vibrator and penis sleeve. I’m not going to tell you how to use it or the point of a cock ring or penis sleeve. If you know, you know. If you don’t, you are going to Google it anyway. The vibrating part is self-explanatory. The circle of UV lighting at the front of the Semen Zapper also has a focused headlamp that beams a ray of UV light straight out to catch stragglers I guess. The UV light kills viruses.

Let’s be clear about one thing, this is not a health blog and I am not a doctor. No one at CamSoda is a doctor and certainly not an epidemiologist (to my knowledge). COVID-19 generally spreads through droplets in the air and relies on inhalation and viral loads. So when it comes to actual loads, the likelihood of transmission is very low. While the data on bodily fluid transmission (besides mouth spittle) is lacking and the virus has been found to be present in semen in trace amounts, it is highly unlikely to be transmitted sexually. So yeah, this dick harness is exactly what you think it is — a gimmick.

“While we figure out what the ‘new normal’ will look like for many things, it’s important to consider if/how sexual intercourse and masturbation will change,” said Daryn Parker, Vice President of CamSoda. “I don’t think COVID-19 means the end of sexual pleasure altogether by any means, but I do think it will require some adjustments. Just as face-masks have become commonplace and everyday staples to help stop the spread of this virus, we think the Semen Zapper will be that for the sex industry,”

Considering that a good portion of the general public flat out refuse to wear face masks because they are spoiled brat idiots, it’s doubtful that they or even those of us who are smartly wearing a mask to temper a fucking pandemic, are really worried about the state of our semen. If sexual intercourse is happening with another person, then there likely has been saliva fluid transfer so the semen is not a concern. And if there isn’t another person present, then sanitizing the semen is a futile and pointless exercise.

That being said and understanding that the release of this particular sex toy is totally a gimmick and taking advantage of unfounded hypotheses about a pandemic, it’s actually not a bad idea for a sex toy. There aren’t many open-ended penis sleeves on the market and certainly none (that I could find quickly) that combine the vibrating cock ring function with the penis sleeve function. It’s kind of like a therapeutic wrist brace for your dangler. So, that’s something.

The CamSoda Semen Zapper retails for $29.99. One was not provided by the manufacturer but that’s fine because this duct tape and Popsicle stick have been working just fine.

What do you think? Is this something that needs to exist? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

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