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KnowTechie Roundtable: Best tech to ignore your family on Thanksgiving

Kevin picked the obvious answer this week.

by
KnowTechie Staff
November 22, 2019

Image: KnowTechie

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We’re an opinionated bunch here at KnowTechie. In fact, the only thing we enjoy more than expressing our own opinions is shooting each others’ down with vociferous, unrestrained vitriol. As such, we’ve decided to launch a new weekly series, the KnowTechie Roundtable, to do just that.

Join us every Friday to hear us dish dish, bish on our favorite topics in tech while hurling insults at one another but mostly Kevin.

So, we ask: What’s the best tech to ignore your family on Thanksgiving?

Matt: I’ve got a low-tech solution. Don’t be American.

Kevin: LMFAO, fucking OWNED.

Joe

Image: The Yes Company

I’m with Matt on this… Plus, I’ve already had Thanksgiving because Canada celebrates it early. Then again, my in-laws are here so we’re also doing Thanksgiving next week, with the usual Black Friday shopping trip. Not sure if we’re catering or I’m cooking this year, but if we’re catering I’ll need your suggestions…

That’s mainly because if I’m cooking, the best tech to avoid talking to anyone is all kitchen-related. Whether it’s the Meater probes that’ll be in the turkey, finding some Skooma to cook, or weighing things with ChopBox, the modern kitchen is stuffed with “time-saving” tech that can keep you at acceptable stress levels by having to pay attention to their incessant notifications, instead of having to talk to anyone.

The bonus? Nobody can accuse you of intentionally hiding, else you decide to stop cooking and leave them with an uncooked feast. Hide a bottle of pre-mixed Margarita in a cupboard for when nobody’s looking, and make a day of it!

Josh

Image: KnowTechie

Since my dad is from the Bahamas, does that mean I don’t have to go to anything on Thursday?

Seriously, though, the Nintendo Switch has to be one of the best answers here, right? With the recent release of Pokemon Sword and Shield, Luigi’s Mansion and a whole bunch of decent other games, you have plenty of opportunities to ignore your family.

Plus, it’s portable.

Kevin: Damn, Josh. That’s a good answer. Thanks for reminding me to bring my Switch.

Josiah

Image: Josiah Motley / KnowTechie

I made the huge mistake of offering to host Thanksgiving this year for my immediate family, so yeah, things are looking pretty grim.

If it’s cold where you live, may I suggest some nice ear warmers with AirPods tucked underneath? You can listen to the latest, riveting Etsy podcast or even this banger on repeat while you shove mashed potatoes down your gullet.

If not that, there is always the Autoblow A.I.

Joe: Fun for the whole family, eh Josiah?

Colin

Image: Nintendo

When in doubt, break out…um…uh…okay, I got nothing.

I’m part of that awfully bizarre minority that enjoys spending time with their family. However, if anyone starts to annoy me, I would just break out my SNES Classic, kick someone’s ass in Mortal Kombat II (I modded my SNES Classic) and have them ignore me while I beat Super Mario Kart for the 912th time.

…I really like my SNES Classic and SEGA Genesis Mini.

Josh: Dude, I modded my NES and SNES Classics and I totally feel ya there. I also really like my SEGA Genesis Mini as well. Even the PlayStation Classic isn’t that bad now that it is like at WalMart. Unfortunately, I can’t break them out this Thursday to pass the time. Those devices make a splash around Christmas though.

Kevin

Alright, guys, I think I have the most obvious answer here – the smartphone. Seriously, that’s my answer. We use it already to ignore people, why is Thanksgiving any different? I don’t know about you, but I fully intend on using the fuck out of mine.

Another great piece of tech to ignore your family this Thanksgiving is the TV, naturally. There’s plenty of cool things to watch (mainly football and basketball). If you’re not into sports, find something to binge on. Again, you can always use your smartphone if a TV is unavailable. So that should keep you occupied for a bit. If all else fails, noise-canceling headphones should do the trick.

Alright, that about wraps things up for this week’s KnowTechie Roundtable. What do you think? Did we miss anything? If that’s the case, Let us know down in the comments or feel free to reach out to us personally. Seriously, whether it’s about Curtis, Colin, Jared, Josiah, Josh, Joe, Matt, or Kevin – we want to hear from you.

What tech will you be using to avoid your family this Thanksgiving? If you have any thoughts or suggestions, this is where you come in. Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.