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Voice Roulette is here and its definitely not being used for phone sex, you guys

Narrator: It was being used for phone sex.

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Pictured: The only person for whom this idea could possibly appeal to. (Image: Videoblocks)

So 2018 has been a pretty weird year for the tech industry. It’s a year wherein the phrases “selfie-related fatality” and “Snapchat dysmorphia” were coined. A year where we learned that our frequent flier miles were and are still being traded on the dark web like cigarettes at Shawshank. A year where our collective Fortnite obsession grows stronger with each passing day. Nothing is sacred.

So perhaps it makes sense that someone in the year of our Lord two thousand eighteen would decide to revive the malformed attic child of social media, Chatroulette.

That’s right my friends, the most popular Internet trend of 2009 is back. Except it no longer has video. And it’s now called Voice Roulette.

What is Voice Roulette?

Described on its site as “a place for fun and friendship, ” Voice Roulette is in reality, of course, a place for strangers to connect and have phone sex (aka the hottest pre-Internet trend of 1980). It can only be for phone sex. Don’t believe me? This is literally the front page of the site. Look at it.

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Image: Voice Roulette

It’s in the damn tagline

“Voice Roulette: Get weird with strangers.”

Get weird with strangers. Get. Weird. With strangers. I’ve said it aloud to myself at least twenty times now and haven’t once been able to make that sound not sexual. Even the damn thing’s launch button says “hook me up.” Use headphones for the best experience? Yeah, I bet you’d like that, Voice Roulette. I bet you think it makes for a more “intimate” experience when your downstairs neighbors aren’t forced to confront how much of an outdated perv you are. I mean (*gestures wildly*) come on, people!

I have no idea who this could possibly appeal to. Your grandma? Isn’t Voice Roulette basically the same thing as just dialing a random number on the phone? People still know that phones can be used for talking, right? Were the early days of the telephone the original Voice Roulette, because you never really knew who you’d be talking to? What will become of Chatroulette? I have literally one thousand more questions.

Anyways, if y’all will excuse me, I’m off to go leave a voicemail of my junk.

Will you use this or is this just ridiculous? Let us know your thoughts below and stay off my lawn.

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Writer. Editor. Barelyknewer. Hate mail can be directed to j j o n e s @ k a r s f o r k i d s d o t e a r t h l i n k

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