YouPorn launches pornstar search by Zodiac sign to satisfy your astrology fetish

YouPorn, your favorite porn site for distracting yourself from the harsh socio-political landscape that is tearing apart this country limb from limb, is today launching a new search filter with its own landing page — search by Zodiac sign.

In partnership with YouPorn’s in-house Sex Astrologer Dossé-Via you can now pick a pornstar based on the knowledge you glean from YouPorn’s Sex Zodiac compatibility guide (PDF link). So you read your horoscope, find out what sign best matches yours, and click on that in the search and there’s a bunch of pornstars to choose from, all doe-eyed and ready to do the things they’ve already been doing. Maybe the pornstar to camera eye contact will have some greater weight after knowing their sign.

Knowing your partner’s astrological sign, if you subscribe to that line of thinking, can have benefits in your relationship. However, pornstars are not your partner so all it really offers here is subject to your imagination depending on how deep your wet little brain can go down the astrological rabbit hole.

“Being aware of your sexual partner’s birth chart and zodiac sign placements can help you better understand the way their personality works, in and out of the bedroom”, said YouPorn’s in-house astrologer, Dossé-Via Trenou-Wells in a press release. “It adds a new layer to sex, helping you get each other’s kinks, turn-ons and turn-offs. Being able to search for adult content by zodiac signs will make the viewing experience more personally tailored and enjoyable. Viewers can envision what it’d be like to have sex with someone with whom they feel astrologically compatible.”

That’s right, you can envision what it’d be like to have sex with someone who you feel astrologically compatible, or in this case, watch them perform sex acts with someone else while you quietly (or loudly) smack your meat train of nerve endings off the tracks. I’m not sure how this changes anything about how porn works, but if you are really into astrological signs, then perhaps watching a Libra perform over watching a Virgo perform (or insert any sign for the same effect) twinkles your stars.

There are fetishes by astrological sign, but I’m not sure how much weight those really carry in the real world. Sure, you might ascribe certain behaviors in life to your daily astrological reading, but how that translates into your porn viewing habits is probably up for debate. Though, you could still search YouPorn for the fetish associated with your sign, or search by sign for pornstars that might be into that fetish.

It’s a creative search function that changes absolutely nothing about the porn viewing landscape. In fact, it obfuscates the randomness of it all, while perhaps giving you a bit more insight into specific pornstars (like learning their names you fucking savage).

I’m not sure if it’s something the YouPorn community was sincerely asking for, or if it’s something that the marketing and search teams came up with after a night of heavy peyote use at Burning Man. Either way, you can now search by Zodiac sign at YouPorn. Get your space fish on.

What do you think? Plan on using this new search feature from YouPorn or will you stick to scrolling through three pages before you inevitably search for that one go-to video you found back in 2015? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

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Curtis Silver

Defunct writer. Exhausted. Ephemeral existence for ephemeral times. Don't email me.