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Happy Holidaze: The best last-minute gifts for stoners

This list is lit.

marijuana in a stocking at christmas
Image: Sensi Seeds

Stoners and procrastination: they go together like weed and Häagen-Dazs. Or weed and Taco Bell. Or just weed. But when it comes to Christmas, it’s not just the perpetually red-eyed among us who are guilty of waiting far too long to start checking off our gift lists.

So, whether you’re a cannabis connoisseur or just shopping for one, we decided to throw together a little last-minute gift guide that’s sure to keep your wallet full and your spirits high.

Do you see what I did there? God, I don’t get paid enough. (We pay you? – Ed.)

Smojo Permanent Screens

If you’ve ever had a smoking session ruined by a rogue piece of hot ash, then look at the Smojo as a godsend. Billed as “the world’s first permanent screen,” the Smojo screen is – for lack of a better way of describing it – essentially an IUD for your pipe and no please do not think about that comparison for even a second longer.

Smojo screens are designed to fit most conventional pipes and are made of medical grade stainless steel, which not only makes them last a heck of a lot longer than your traditional mesh filter (forever, to be exact) but healthier to boot.

Price: $4.95 | Amazon (all the way up to $59.95 for the 24-pack)

The OTTO Herb Grinder

otto weed roller on wooden table

Image: Banana Bros.

Perfect for the techy stoner who likes smoking joints more than rolling joints, the OTTO Herb Grinder by Banana Bros. is a combination grinder/joint roller that guarantees a perfect cone, without the mess, each and every time.

It’s secret? An AI-controlled milling station that measures to the density of your herb and reacts accordingly. Without even having purchased one, I already declared the OTTO the greatest invention of all time when I stumbled upon it back in October. I refuse to reconsider my position.

Price: $129.99 | Amazon

The Q-Cup

Portable, discreet, and promising better flavor than your traditional dab delivery system, the Q-Cup is basically the stoners answer to the K-Cup (minus, you know, the whole earth-destroying environmental impact).

Made of solid quartz, the Q-Cup offers a cleaner experience for dab enthusiasts than most comparable products on the market and is compatible with Qwik-G Globe and Gwik-T Tanks. Try one, then throw the thing in a turtle’s mouth.

Price: Q-Cup | $14.95 for a 3-pack

The Dr. Dabber Switch

dr. dabber switch vaporizer-review

Image: @kingcongraphy / KnowTechie

Easily the best vaporizer I reviewed this year – and I reviewed *two* of them – the Switch by Dr. Dabber is really something to behold. Durable, versatile, and capable of alternating between 25 temperature settings (and 25 lava lamp-esque light settings), the Switch utilizes a unique form of induction heating to give you one of the quickest and most customized experiences around.

Whether you’re a dry herb person or a wax diehard, the Switch will send you to the goddamn moon on a rocket made of microwaved pillows, which is stoner speak for “worth every penny.”

Price: $399.99 | Dr. Dabber

Lazarus Naturals CBD Oil

2018 may be the dumpster-fire-careening-downhill-into-a-deaf-child-zone of years in most regards, but if we can thank it for one thing, it’s the explosion of knowledge and acceptance surrounding the use of CBD oils that has occurred there within.

For sufferers of chronic pain, companies like Lazarus Naturals promise better sleep and peace of mind at a reasonable price point. From tinctures in unique flavors like “Chocolate Mint’ and “French Vanilla” to their line of isolates and coconut oils, Lazarus Naturals is one of the emerging companies in the CBD scene, and even offer a 60% discount to veterans.

Price: Shop at Lazarus Naturals

Juju Royal CBD Olive Oil

It’s olive oil. With CBD in it. Made by Bob Marley’s son. I don’t feel that this requires further explanation.

Price: JuJu Royal | $50

The Hydrology9 Vaporizer

The Hydrology 9 Vaporizer is truly a first of its kind. Part traditional pocket vape, part bong, the Hydrology 9 is the only dry herb vaporizer that comes with a built-in, patent-pending water filtration system, ensuring the cleanest possible vapor with every puff.

And if that isn’t a custom enough experience, the Hydrology9 also offers 5 temperature settings to choose from. Seriously, Forbes said that it “offers something completely new and different in the vape market” and I didn’t even know that Forbes partied like that.

Price: $299 | Cloudious 9

Plan on picking any of these up? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

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Writer. Editor. Barelyknewer. Hate mail can be directed to j j o n e s @ k a r s f o r k i d s d o t e a r t h l i n k

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