Josiah’s definitive best tech gift guide for 2019
Finally, some good f—king gifts.
The holidays are (almost) here. Black Friday is next week and then its the final stretch to Christmas. Shopping for friends and family can be tough, because spending money on someone other than yourself is hard.
So, with support from KnowTechie, Jeff Bezos, and GOD HIMSELF, I’ve put together an exhaustive list of all the best gifts for literally anyone in your life. We cover home and garden, tech, gaming, and entertainment. We put in the hours so you don’t have to.
So please, grab a cup of coffee, kick back, and bask in the glory that is this best gifts guide. You’re welcome.
The best gifts you can literally give anyone this holiday season
Amazon Gift Card – $25
This is going to be the bare minimum, the $25 gift you give to someone you… just know. Not someone you invite to the house, mind you, but that friend or family member you hit up when you are in the area and need to kill an hour.
They probably send you a Christmas card each year with their spouse and dog on it and after five years of getting these cards you’ve decided to acknowledge their existence with this gift card.
The $30 option is going to be another great choice for an acquaintance. Maybe you went to high school or college with them. Maybe you used to hang out. Who knows, the point is now that has devolved to nothing more than “yeah, let’s get up soon!” and other empty promises.
You like their family photos on Facebook and laugh react at their lame memes to make them feel better about themselves.
Amazon Gift Card – $40
We’re starting to get serious now, buckle in. A $40 Amazon gift card teeters on the realm of “you’re a real friend” or “I’m glad you’re my son.” Mind you, it isn’t quite there and if you receive a $40 Amazon gift card this year, know that you’re almost important to that person.
Amazon Gift Card – $50
Let a person know that you actually care that they exist with a $50 Amazon gift card. $50 says “I hope you can get something you actually want.” Anything below $50 is just charity towards something that the person actually wants to buy.
I don’t make the rules.
Amazon Gift Card – $51+
🚨 BONUS GIFT🚨
If you’ve made it this far, congratulations, you’ve unlocked a super-secret special gift for only the best people in your life. It’s a f–king color-changing coffee mug. Full disclosure, it’s my f–king mug and you can put anyone’s face on it. Again, and I can’t stress this enough, Kevin doesn’t pay me.
The sample features our fearless leader Kevin and hopefully he doesn’t proofread this post to see that I’m peddling my own wares. Fingers crossed.
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