YouPorn releases couples sex quiz data, proving we’ve all got our something

A few months ago YouPorn, the rosy-cheeked plaid-wearing hoarding-all-the-cupcakes kid at the PornHub picnic, released a web-based Couples Sex Quiz in order to give at least one half of every couple some hope that their partner is secretly as kinky as they are. Open communication, folks. Try it. Anyway, the results are in, so let’s find out what the data tells us about our willingness to discuss, perform, discover and learn.

16,000 couples (32,146 users) and an additional 12,236 single users (to gauge compatibility with their robot friends I suppose) took the quiz. The age demographic was a bit surprising, as with 43.64% of ‘yes’ answers, the 60+ age demographic appeared to be the most adventurous. Upon thinking about this for a moment, it most likely holds true because apparently, millennials aren’t having sex. What comes as no surprise in the basic yes, let’s do a bunch of whack stuff is that males answered in the positive 42.54% of the time.

Image: YouPorn

From there, the YouPorn data goes into want/do not want. Topping the LGBTQ relationship categories was wake up sex as things they want to try. Topping the boring hetero partner category was sensual massages. So, let’s get this straight. Same-sex couples want some morning action, while cis couples want… sensual massages. Y’all aren’t digging deep enough.

Sex in a car made both the female/female and male/female partner categories, so I suppose that’s something, while outdoor sex appeared on both the male/male and male/female reports. So I guess that car is in the garage. Just be sure to crack a window.

There were some things people didn’t want

All three categories of partners (there was a binary option on the quiz, but there apparently wasn’t enough data to make its own chart) were pretty clear on the things they weren’t looking to try. Cuckolding, a misappropriated favorite insult of the alt-right, made the top five do-not-want lists of all three combinations.

Additionally, male/female and male/male couples weren’t looking for any kind of sensory deprivation, so I guess none of these couples were from Boston. Neither male/male or female/female were looking for foot jobs, which makes sense if you’ve ever seen feet. Male/female couples didn’t seem to be interested in golden showers, which makes sense if you know what that is.

In the end, this quiz from YouPorn shows that we’ve all got our something, just that we might not be that eager to openly talk about it with our partner. This is detrimental to any relationship because communication is important and a bunch of other tiny advice tidbits. The results of this quiz prove that we could stand to be honest with our partners and discuss what kind of car we want to have sex in, as long as it’s not a Miata. That’s a deal breaker.

Did you look at the results? Look about right? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

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Curtis Silver

Defunct writer. Exhausted. Ephemeral existence for ephemeral times. Don't email me.