All the wonderfully whack tech we found in March
The Tribrush is the apocalypse toothbrush you never knew you needed.
Every month here at KnowTechie (or for as many months as the patience remains to write such a thing), we’re going to take a look at some of the most question-mark-inspiring, most this-could-be-innovative, most ridiculously inane, weird and sometimes pointless technology that somehow made it through the approval process and into the marketplace.
It’s getting a bit wild out there in the world. Between COVID-19, government incompetence in handling a pandemic, businesses shuttering and general paranoia, we’re all a bit stressed out. We’re slowing down on the toilet paper hoarding and looking forward to the post-pandemic technology sales. And there will be plenty.
In the meantime, here’s a bunch of fun tech and tech-adjacent stuff that exists, in case you just can’t wait to get your hands on something that might alleviate the existential dread closing in you.
French automaker Citroën has revealed the Ami, a tiny electric car that looks like one of those Yeti coolers. It’s only going to be available in Europe, but the postage to get one shipped to America shouldn’t be too much. Citroën calls it a “non-conformist mobility object” since it has a top speed of 28mph and doesn’t even classify as a car in some European countries.
It’s either the cheapest electric car on the market, or the most expensive road-ready go-kart in the world. Also “non-conformist mobility object” is the name of my prog rock band.
Here’s a big ol’ bag of what the hell. OnePlus (responsible for the fanciest phone I’ve ever owned) has built Snowbots that can fire snowballs up to 120 miles per hour. Sadly, unlike the Tesla flamethrower, you cannot purchase this Snowbot (though, you can buy a shop-vac and half-ass it yourself). Rather, it was some weird marketing thing that allowed users to control the Snowbot against other Snowbots in some competition in Finland earlier this month.
I’m not sure of the results of the snowball fight, but apparently the whole thing was a demonstration of 5G capabilities because apparently that is needed to throw snowballs. Ah, early March, such a naive time.
As someone on Twitter pointed out, the Ergon Band is what a smartwatch band would look like if it was designed by Pornhub. Instead of strapping your wrist, it straps the fleshy bit of your hand in between your thumb and forefinger. It’s a weird place for a smartwatch.
But, the Kickstarter is fully funded and then some ($60k+ of a $2,856 goal) with three days to go. So hopefully this smartwatch band will see the production line. It’s actually quite smart in its placement and it’s a wonder this hasn’t already been invented.
*Takes breath* ahahahahahahaha pass.
Verizon has launched Yahoo Mobile, a $40 per month mobile phone service using the Yahoo brand and the Verizon 4G LTE network. If you are still using a Yahoo email address, then this is the mobile service for you. If you are still using a Hotmail address, don’t fret, your flip phone from 1998 probably still works.
Since we’re all working at home now, we need to step up our home office tech game. Some of us have stacked books on a tray table to balance the monitor and that’s a-ok. Yet, some of us yearn for the ergonomic stature of a preacher curl bench mixed with a small platform for our laptops. That is the basic premise of the Edge Desk, a fully adjustable desk that puts your weight on your legs (it’s never not leg day) instead of your lower back like traditional chairs. It’s weird, but it makes sense if you want to sit in a squat position all day.
Have you ever wondered to yourself “gee, I wish I could brush my teeth with multiple toothbrush mechanisms instead of just one”? Well, now you can with the TriBrush. That’s right, not one, not two but three brushes all jammed together will give your teeth that just through the car wash shimmer. Three rotating heads, just like a Wednesday night at Josiah’s house.
Charging cables, as they stand, are a mess. They get twisted up with other cables, they hang uselessly from the charging station and the extra ones are all tangled in a box. SuperCalla aims to change that with a super durable cable lined with magnets that create a cable system that adheres to itself.
With over a month left on its Kickstarter, SuperCalla is fully funded ($71k+ of $10k goal) and offers five different connection types. It’s kind of mesmerizing watching the videos of people playing with these cables. With more and more devices to plug in, it would be kind of handy to have more and more cables organize themselves. That’s what the SuperCalla cable does.
— Daniel Social Distancing Holland (@DannyDutch) March 23, 2020
Finally, if you just need a laugh in these dark times, check out this video posted to Twitter highlighting the ridiculously entertaining world of Bollywood physics. It’s kind of like a dream world but also like a Fast & Furious movie. This counts as tech, right?
- All the wonderfully whack tech we found in February
- Review: Senstroke – play drums on any surface, anywhere, anytime
- The best tech to hoard during a pandemic
- The best crowdfunding campaigns to check out in March 2020