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Clubhouse downloads plummet as people realize they already hate conference calls

Downloads dropped from almost 10 million in February to only 900k in April.

clubhouse app on iphone
Image: Unsplash

Clubhouse might be the latest hotness in social media, but it seems the buzz is waning. A report shared with Business Insider shows that the app only gained another 900,000 downloads in April, down from a huge 9.6 million in February of this year.

Maybe that’s not really all too surprising. After all, Clubhouse, where you can set up audio-only chatrooms to get on your soapbox about whatever comes to mind, is really just a Zoom call with no passcode needed for entry.

We’re over a year into the pandemic now, and everyone from school-age children to adults that were fortunate enough to work from home is fatigued by the daily grind of video conferences.

Sure, Clubhouse is audio-only, but that just means it’s a Zoom call with everyone not using their webcam. Also, literally, every single damn website in existence is adding clones of Clubhouse’s functionality to their site. All of them.

It’s like when everyone copied Snapchat’s homework but happening at warp speed because everyone is so starved for meaningful companionship while we’re stuck at home that we’re jumping at the smallest chance for human interaction.

And you know? An audio-only space that mimics a street corner with a possibly-homeless-or-are-they-just-rich-and-badly-dressed person on their pulpit spouting whatever they think passes for wisdom to passers-by ain’t the meaningful interactions you want.

Go read a book if you’re bored, or call your parents, or literally anything other than listening to some techbros and venture capitalists whine about how hard it is to be rich, or why journalists are out to get them.

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