This smart toilet checks your poop and remembers your butthole

Welcome to the future. Cameras are everywhere, you can’t go outside, and your health is checked daily by your smart toilet. Okay, the last one isn’t available yet, but it will be soon thanks to an international team of researchers.

They’ve come up with a sensor package that can be retro-fitted to any toilet that will check everything from performing on-site specimen exams and timing your poop, to checking if you’ve got a urinary infection. It will then upload that information to the cloud to analyze the data.

I mentioned the future has cameras everywhere, right? Well, so will your toilet if these guys have anything to do with it, one of which will scan your butthole for security authentication.

Wait, what? Yes, your “analprint” is apparently as unique as your fingerprint, and secure enough to use as biometric identification. Let’s hope this doesn’t appear on the next flagship smartphone.

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We’re only just warming up to the prospect of bidets as a nation, so it’s likely that any commercial version of this sensor array is still a ways off. Once implemented though, it’ll be able to help medical professionals diagnose everything from benign prostatic hyperplasia, irritable bowel syndrome, to urinary tract infections in the population, all without the embarrassment of dropping your trousers in a doctor’s office.

What do you think? Would you be ok with a smart toilet like this? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

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Joe Rice-Jones

Maker, meme-r, and unabashed geek with nearly half a decade of blogging experience. If it runs on electricity (or even if it doesn't), Joe probably has one around his office somewhere. His hobbies include photography, animation, and hoarding Reddit gold.