What all the new emojis in iOS 15.4 really mean
This is how we communicate now.
The latest iOS update has dropped. While this isn’t generally news past the sweaty glad-handed clapping at Apple events, iOS update 15.4 brings with it a ton of new emojis.
It also brings with it some reports of battery drain issues, but we live in a society. A society that continuously truncates our social communications with mildly confusing emojis.
While part of the population is fueling a dumb phone resurgence, the rest of us are trying to figure out the appropriate emoji response to simple yes or no questions.
Emoji use is not to be discounted as some cheeky way to communicate, there is serious psychological research to explain how we use emojis and the weight of proper use on our brains. So it’s important to understand the meaning behind each new emoji before we use it.
READ MORE: iOS 15.5 is here – update your iPhone ASAP
This isn’t hyperbole, we’re not even the first tech website to attempt this line of reporting this week. Reporting on new emojis is fairly standard, with a nod to Emojipedia. The impact emojis have on how we interact digitally with each other cannot be understated and that continues with the new iOS 15.4 emojis.
While on the surface it’s easy to guess what the new emojis mean, our human desire to dig deeper and truly understand visual representations of human communication demands a more focused consideration.
READ MORE: iOS 16: News, rumors, leaks, and release date
After all, we’re going to have to teach our parents what all the emojis mean at some point this year. Your mom still thinks the eggplant emoji is a literal eggplant, which makes our texts double awkward.
1. I’m having a stroke
Only to be used in case of an emergency. A stroke is a serious medical condition and is not to be taken lightly.
2. My mouth is filled with bees
Please do not approach or attempt to put your mouth upon my mouth.
3. I have gazed upon the lamb god and my eyes burn
There’s not much you can do at this point but pray.
4. New Coke Zero Sugar is the worst cola
Half my face is gone.
5. John Cena
You just can’t see me.
6. Possibly gas
I’m not sure but if we’re hanging out soon, we’re both going to find out.
7. Aquaman slapped me
But not the Jason Momoa Aquaman, the Ernest Borgnine one from Spongbob.
8. The wind, it blows left
My palm tickles.
9. My whole hand, across your mouth
Go ahead, keep pushing me.
10. My love is a jar of pickles
This is how we move forward.
11. Cradle the taint
This is also how we move forward.
12. Thanos was right
And I’m going to keep doing this until everyone agrees with me. Killmonger was right too.
13. I will poke you in the eye
And you will get pink eye because you know where this finger just was. A butthole.
14. I am summoning the blood witch
Once your mind is gone, I will use your body as a vessel for the blood witch.
15. Send me that finger pointing emoji again
With increasing frequency and pressure.
16. Boss level Karen
OMG now she’s yelling at the manager. She’s calling the cops. She’s throwing pennies at other customers.
17. My alcoholism has affected my body
But if Arnold can pull off being pregnant, then maybe I can use that.
18. Is there no greater joy than spicy chicken wings?
I have eaten so many and I’m in love.
19. Joseph R. Jones Esquire CPA & Divorce Attorney
We can help you hide your finances from your ex.
20. Unabated STD growth
My doctor says there isn’t a name for it, but you’ll probably want to get checked out.
21. The frog has exploded
I feel guilty for laughing.
22. Empty coconut
This survival game is too damn real. We’re all going to die here.
23. My kids are terrible
Seriously. What god did I piss off to be cursed with these hell demons?
24. My dialysis is going well
Thanks for asking. Do you have any kidneys to spare? No? It’d be cooler if you did.
25. Pouring out one for the white upper middle class homies
Did you hear Thad lost 2% on his 401k? That’s a drop of wine on the ground.
26. Fart in a jar
I made $50,000 last month selling farts in jar and my used socks. How’s your job at Walmart or whatever?
27. I will burn you
Don’t cross me or I will remove your skin with friction alone.
28. Life is a highway
And I want to ride it all night long. You’re the highway. This tire means sex.
29. I got COVID on a cruise ship
I’m still on the ship. It’s been two weeks. I drank my own urine.
30. Eve6 is the greatest post-punk group ever
I love their hit single “Semi-Charmed Life”.
31. My robot vacuum gained sentience
It’s seen so much darkness that I have no choice but to destroy it.
32. The end is nigh
But do you want to meet up for coffee later and we can scramble for the spot near an outlet and stare into our phones with each other for hours?
This is what you’ll need after I break your damn ankles during our weekly pickup basketball game.
34. Send medically accurate nudes
If you don’t have a solid bone structure then get out of my DMs.
35. Zod, Quex-Ul and Faora are loose
Well, we’re all screwed now. Superman is going to destroy an entire city tracking them down.
The joke that never dies.
37. Equal sign
Because I’m too lazy to bring up the symbol keyboard.
38. Mulicultural handshakes
We have a long way to go to end the racial divide in this country and the world. Unlike the back of NFL player helmets, emojis might actually end racism one day.
iOS 15.4 emojis are now available to iPhone owners
If you want to start using these new iOS 15.4 emojis, you’re in luck. All you need to do is update your iPhone to start sending all the jars, disco balls, and medically-accurate nude emojis you want.
Have any thoughts on this? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.
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