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Doom Bone Vodka will get you demon drunk on your way to hell

I’d rather drink motor oil and play Excitebike.

Doom bone vodka
Image: Bethesda

One of the great things about being nearly nine years sober is that I no longer have to feign excitement over some trash alcoholic beverage created in conjunction with a video game publisher.

While its Nuka Dark Rum was apparently trash, Bethesda is back at it again with Doom Bone Vodka.

It’s £45 ($55) and currently only available in the UK, EU and Australia and is clearly a tie-in to the upcoming Doom Eternal game, but it’s also being marketed as “bone vodka” because of fucking course it is. Bone vodka is a real thing in case you were thinking that’s just marketing. Beef bone marrow is extracted, roasted, smoked, macerated and added to grain alcohol. In this case, it’s marketing.

It’s not noted when or if Doom Bone Vodka will be available in the US at any point

I’m guessing that it probably never will. You people can’t handle your booze as it is, not like Europe and Australia can at least. Plus, unless it’s a Miller Lite or White Claw tie-in, it probably wouldn’t sell that well in the states these days. Macerated bone marrow is not something found on the palette of Americans.

Doom is a frustratingly entertaining game that does spur one to hit the bottle with bloody enthusiasm after getting smothered by demons, so at least there is justification for casual alcoholism in alignment with the adrenaline rush from doing so. While the game is enjoyed by many age groups, the booze is being marketed to, well, everyone. It was tweeted. It exists. Doom fans will want it and put it on the shelf next to their boxes of Flutie Flakes.

The bone vodka comes from Rebel Distillers, a company that creates spirits for brands. In this case, it partnered with famous butchery The Ginger Pig to source the bone marrow. It would have been more on brand if they had summoned some demons, killed the demons and used those bones, instead of the bones from some chill cows that are about as evil as a soft shoulder rub from your aunt.

Doom Bone Vodka is a much more natural alcohol tie-in than Bethesda’s Nuka Rum. Fallout is a much more depressing game and alcohol wasn’t the answer there, as it’s a depressant and only makes things worse. It should have released some LSD pills with little Pip-Boy imprints or something.

Doom makes you want to drink, wreck shit, crash your car into a tree and chainsaw that one neighbor always complaining about your lemon tree hanging over the fence. The chaotic, frenetic pace of Doom is alcoholism embodied and Doom Bone Vodka is the physical liquid manifestation of a game that destroys your mind just as much as binge drinking bone vodka does.

What do you think? Interested in trying out Doom Bone Vodka? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

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Defunct writer. Exhausted. Ephemeral existence for ephemeral times. Don't email me.

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