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KnowTechie Roundtable: What we think Apple can do to bring back innovation

Ugh, where do we even start…..

knowtechie roundtable apple
Image: KnowTechie

We’re an opinionated bunch here at KnowTechie. In fact, the only thing we enjoy more than expressing our own opinions is shooting each others’ down with vociferous, unrestrained vitriol.

As such, we’ve decided to launch a new weekly series, the KnowTechie Roundtable, to do just that. Join us every Friday to hear us dish dish, bish on our favorite topics in tech while hurling insults at one another but mostly Kevin.

So, we ask: What do we think Apple can do to bring back innovation?

Josiah

holographic steve jobs

Image: YouTube

Holographic Steve Jobs. But seriously, a look at the ecosystem. It’s great that all of Apple’s products work really well together, but that exclusiveness also hampers things. I will never own a Mac computer – I just don’t see it happening, but it would be really great for things to play together with the rest of my Apple products.

Also, and not directly related, they need to get their prices in check. There will never be an excuse for a $1,000 stand or a ceramic Apple Watch that is encroaching on two bands

Joe

Okay, you might be onto something with the holographic Jobs, Josiah. Then again, if you’re taking the trouble to turn the beloved Jobs into a Vocaloid, why not go further? I mean, with all their megabucks, Apple can afford to reanimate their cult leader. I’m here for Zombie Jobs shuffling onto the stage in Cupertino to announce a new iPod Shuffle

Then again, maybe they don’t need to bring back his turtlenecks. I see a perfect use case for Deepfakes here, with Apple putting Steve Jobs’ over someone else on stage. No offense Tim, but you’re the worst part of every Apple keynote. Let the maestro come back, or stay off the stage.

Kevin

apple car

Image: AutoEvolution (mockup)

For me, Apple needs to create something entirely brand new. These products are getting stale. Like, I get it. A new iPhone. A new iPad. A new Macbook. Ok cool, those are all great, but these are just improvements on products that have been made in the past already. We need something brand new if Apple plans to be that innovative company they once used to be. 

We were so close with AirPower. Finally, Apple was about to unveil a new product, but they instead killed that project before it ever took off. If I had some suggestions for Apple on new products, maybe an AR headset? How about a folding iPhone? Fuck it, how about an Apple Car? Remember, Apple was never in the business of selling phones, but they made one and it transformed the whole world. That’s the type of innovation that Apple needs to strive for.

Joe: Spoken like a true Apple user, Kev. We all know you want the AirPower to complete your summoning circle to raise Steve Jobs from limbo. You’d think that with all of Apple’s engineering know-how and more importantly, piles of cash to throw at the problem, that the AirPower would have been released early. Maybe, just like the reluctance to remove the Lightning Port, Apple has got the working AirPower in a vault somewhere and just doesn’t want to release it…

Absolutely definitely not Josh 

apple store

Image: Hardware Zone

Apple needs to go the classic route and take a step back and realize a majority of their success was by innovation on convenience. No one wanted to carry an iPod and a flip phone. College students didn’t want to haul around a desktop and monitor to college. Smartphone owners didn’t want to have to own three separate wireless chargers… oh wait. 

Kevin’s right, they haven’t made anything new in a bit. Apple is entering the Valve Software zone where they aren’t creating anymore and just curating the norm. That works for some, but I can tell you at the end of the day, it doesn’t work for shareholders. They aren’t giving anyone outside of the Apple ecosystem a reason to integrate and that’s a damn shame.

Next time you brave the mall, step into both an Apple store and a Microsoft store. There’s a different energy in both of those locations. The Microsoft store thrives on the company’s ability to collaborate. Apple feels more like an art gallery. Maybe Apple needs to learn to open itself up to third parties?

Jared

iphone 5 se robocalls

Image: Videoblocks

Gentlemen, I think we all know what I was prepared to say here. I was going to say that Apple is a soulless, duplicitous, pretentious corporation that seemingly exists to nickel and dime the very people who sing its praises at every turn under the guise of innovation, and that the only way for it to actually redeem itself would be to publicly denounce Steve Jobs, save the Amazon, and then close its doors for good. 

But then it brought back the iPhone SE

I looove the SE. I still have one. It is a correctly sized, moderately priced phone and quite possibly the last practical product Apple has made. That’s the keyword here, practical. As Josh said, Apple doesn’t seem to be solving anything anymore, besides the wet dreams of super nerds willing to camp outside of a store for three days to ohh and ahh and spend $1000 on a phone with whatever the fuck this camera is. Ooooh and it comes in cyan! Must have! George A. Romero is turning over in his grave. 

Curtis

green iphone 11

Image: Apple

See, that’s the problem right there – cyan. You mean green-blue? Green? Blue? What the fuck is cyan. What Apple can do is stop being the douche at the party telling everyone the origins of every single fucking song on the indie-pop station.

How about you just listen to the music and shut the hell up? The best way for Apple to innovate at this point is to listen to the music and try to discover trends in the marketplace that it can get ahead of, instead of just slightly improve on or bring into its ecosystem. 

Apple is turning into an entertainment company as it is, which makes sense since that’s what we do with the devices, but there is no reason that it shouldn’t be able to markedly shift the paradigm of hardware once again. Three cameras just ain’t gonna cut it. Gotta look deeper and beyond just packing more toppings on the burger, time to find that piece of new meat that everyone is gonna devour like Josiah eating wings at the neighborhood potluck.

Joe: C’mon Curtis, we know your carefully crafted persona lives under a rock but we know you have killer WiFi. If you’ve spent any time on Twitter this week, you should know that cyan is the color that your printer apparently needs to print in black and white.


Alright, that about wraps things up for this week’s KnowTechie Roundtable. What do you think? Did we miss anything? If that’s the case, Let us know down in the comments or feel free to reach out to us personally. Seriously, whether it’s CurtisJakeJaredJosiahJoshJoe, or Kevin  – we want to hear from you.

Have any takes on what Apple can do to bring back innovation? If you have any thoughts, this is where you come in. If there’s anything missing here, let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

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